This morning on the Interstate,
I looked over to my left and there was a Woman

In a brand new Cadillac

Doing 65 mph

With her Face up next to her
Rear view mirror

Putting on her eyeliner.

I looked away
For a couple seconds

And when I looked back she was

Halfway over in my lane,

Still working on that makeup.

 

As a man,

I don't scare easily.

But she scared me so much,

I dropped

My electric shaver,

Which knocked

The donut

Out of my other hand

In all
The confusion of trying
to straighten out the car

Using my knees against
The steering wheel,

it knocked my cell phone

away from my ear

which fell

into the coffee

between my legs,

splashed, and burned

Big Jim and the Twins,

ruined the damn phone,

soaked my trousers,

and disconnected an
important call.

Damn women drivers