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You know how to polka , but never tried it sober....

You know what knee-high by the Fourth of July means.

You know it is traditional for the bride and groom to go
bar hopping between the reception and wedding dance.

You know the difference between "Green" and "Red" farm
machinery, and would fight with your friends on the playground over which was better!

You buy Christmas presents at Fleet Farm. Or farm & fleet.

You spent more on beer & liquor than you did on food at your wedding.

You hear someone use the word "oof-dah" and you don't
break into uncontrollable laughter.

You or someone you know was a "Dairy Princess" at the
county fair.

You know that "combine" is a noun.

You let your older siblings talk you into putting your
tongue on a steel post in the middle of winter.

You think Lutheran and Catholic are THE major religions.

You know that "creek" rhymes with "pick".

Football schedules, hunting season and harvest are all
taken into consideration before wedding dates are set.

A Friday night date is getting a six-pack and taking your
girlfriend shining for deer.

Saturday you go to your local bowling alley.

There was at least one kid in your class who had to help
milk cows in the morning... phew!

You have driven your car on the lake.

You can make sense of "upnort" and "batree".

Every wedding dance you have ever been to has the hokey
pokey and the chicken dance.

Your definition of a small town is one that only has one bar.

The local gas station sells live bait.

At least twice a year some part of your home doubles as a
meat processing plant.

You think that the start of deer season is a national holiday.

Pop is the only name for soda.

You actually understand these statements and will forward them
to all your Wisconsin friends!!!!!


Jeff Foxworthy on Wisconsin       


If you consider  it a sport to gather your food by drilling through 38   inches of ice and sitting there all day hoping that the food will swim by, you  might live in Wisconsin . 


If you're proud  that your region makes the national news 96 nights each year  because   Park Falls is the coldest spot in the nation, you might  live in Wisconsin . 


If you have  ever refused to buy something because it's 'too pricey,' you might live in Wisconsin .   


If your local  Dairy Queen is closed from November through March, you might live in Wisconsin .   


If you  instinctively walk like a penguin for five months out of the year, you might live in Wisconsin .   


If someone in a  store offers you assistance, and they don't work there, you might  live in Wisconsin . 


If your dad's  suntan stops at a line curving around the middle of his forehead,  you might live in Wisconsin . 


If you may not  have actually eaten it, but you have heard of Head Cheese, you might  live in Wisconsin . 


If you have  worn shorts and a parka at the same time, you might live in Wisconsin . 


If you have  either a pet or a child named 'Brett,' you might live in   Wisconsin . 


If your town  has an equal number of bars and churches, you might live in Wisconsin . 


If you have had  a lengthy telephone conversation with someone who dialed a wrong number, you might live in Wisconsin . 


If you know how  to say Oconomowoc, Waukesha , Menomonie & Manitowoc, you might live in Wisconsin . 


If you think  that ketchup is a little too spicy, you might live in    Wisconsin .   


If every time  you see moonlight on a lake, you think of a dancing bear, and you  sing gently, 'From the land of sky-blue waters,' might live in Wisconsin . 




1. Your idea of  a traffic jam is ten cars waiting to pass a tractor on the   highway.   


2. 'Vacation'  means going up north past Hwy 8 for the weekend. 


3. You measure  distance in hours. 


4. You know  several people who have hit deer more than once. 


5. You often  switch from 'heat' to 'A/C' in the same day and back again.   


6. Your whole  family wears Packer Green to church on Sunday. 


7. You can drive 65  mph through 2 feet of snow during a raging blizzard, without  flinching. 


8. You see  people wearing camouflage at social events (including weddings and funerals ). 


9. You install security lights on your house and garage and leave both  unlocked.   


10. You think of the major food groups as beer, fish, and venison.   


11. You carry  jumper cables in your car and your wife or girlfriend knows how to use them. 


12. There are 7 empty cars running in the parking lot at Mill's Fleet Farm    at any  given time. 


13. You design your kid's Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit.  


14. Driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled with     snow.   


15. You refer to the Packers as 'we.' 


16. You know all 4 seasons: almost winter, winter, still winter and road construction. 


17. You can identify a southern or eastern accent. 


18. You have no problem pronouncing Lac Du Flambeau. 


19. You  consider Minneapolis exotic. 


20. You know how to polka. 


21. Your idea of creative landscaping is a statue of a deer next to your    blue  spruce. 


22. You were unaware that there is a legal drinking age. 


23. Down South to you means Illinois . 


24. A brat is something you eat. 


25. Your neighbor throws a party to celebrate his new pole shed.   


26. You go out to fish fry every Friday   


27. Your 4th of  July picnic was moved indoors due to frost. 


28. You have more miles on your snow blower than your car. 


29. You find  minus twenty degrees 'a little chilly.' 


30. You actually understand these jokes, and you forward them to all your Wisconsin friends.



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