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Why do humans smell the flowers, but seldom, if ever, smell one another?
Dear God: When we get to heaven, can we sit
on your couch? Or is it still the same old story?
Dear God: Why are there cars named after the
jaguar, the cougar, the mustang, the colt, the stingray, and the rabbit,
but not ONE named for a dog? How often do you see a cougar riding around?
We do love a nice ride! Would it be so hard to rename the
"Chrysler Eagle" the " Chrysler Beagle"?
Dear God: If a dog barks his head off in the
forest and no human hears him, is he still a bad dog?
Dear God: We dogs can understand human verbal
instructions, hand signals, whistles, horns, clickers, beepers, scent ID's,
electromagnetic energy fields, and Frisbee flight paths. What do humans
Dear God: More meatballs, less spaghetti,
Dear God: Are there mailmen in Heaven?
If there are, will I have to apologize?
Dear God: Let me give you a list of just some
of the things I must remember to be a good dog.
1 . I will not eat the cats' food before they
eat it or after they throw it up.
2. I will not roll on dead seagulls, fish,
crabs, etc., just because I like the way they smell.
3. The Litter Box is not a cookie jar.
4. The sofa is not a 'face towel'.
5. The garbage collector is not stealing our
6. I will not play tug-of-war with Dad's
underwear when he's on the toilet.
7. Sticking my nose into someone's crotch is
an unacceptable way of saying "hello".
8. I don't need to suddenly stand straight up
when I'm under the coffee table .
9. I must shake the rainwater out of my fur
before entering the house - not after.
10. I will not come in from outside and immediately drag my butt.
11. I will not sit in the middle of the
living room and lick my crotch.
12. The cat is not a 'squeaky toy' so when I
play with him and he makes that noise, it's usually not a good thing.
When I get to Heaven
may I have my manhood back?