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The Lawyer's Duck
A big city lawyer went duck hunting in rural Tennessee.
He shot and dropped a bird, but it fell into a
farmer's field on the other side of a fence.
As the lawyer climbed over the fence, an elderly
farmer drove up on his tractor and asked him what he
The litigator responded, 'I shot a duck and it fell in
this field, and now I'm going to retrieve it.'
The old farmer replied, 'This is my property, and you
are not coming over here.'
The indignant lawyer said, 'I am one of the best trial
attorneys in the United States and, if you don't let
me get that duck,
I'll sue you and take
everything you own !
The old farmer smiled and said, 'Apparently, you don't
know how we settle disputes in Tennessee . We settle
small disagreements with the 'Three Kick Rule.'
The lawyer asked, 'What is the 'Three Kick Rule'?'
The Farmer replied, 'Well, because the dispute occurs
on my land, I get to go first. I kick you three times
and then you kick me three times and so on back and
forth until someone gives up.'
The attorney quickly thought about the proposed
contest and decided that he could easily take the old
codger. He agreed to abide by the local custom.
The old farmer slowly climbed down from the tractor
and walked up to the attorney.
His first kick planted the toe of his heavy steel toed
work boot into the lawyer's groin and dropped him to
His second kick to the midriff sent the lawyer's last
meal gushing from his mouth.
The lawyer was on all fours when the farmer's third
kick to his rear end, sent him face-first into a fresh
The lawyer summoned every bit of his will and managed
to get to his feet.
Wiping his face with the arm of his jacket, he said,
'Okay, you old fart. Now it's my turn.'
The old farmer smiled and said,
'Nah, I give up. You can have