True or not, I do think some of these come pretty close....and good
for a chuckle.
We had to have the garage door repaired. The Sears repairman told us
that one of our problems was that we did not have a 'large' enough motor
on the opener. I thought for a minute, and said that we had the largest
one Sears made at that time, a 1/2 horsepower. He shook his head and
said, 'Lady, you need a 1/4 horsepower.' I responded that 1/2 was larger
than 1/4. He said, 'NO, it's not.' Four is larger than two.'
We haven't used Sears repair since.
My daughter and I went through the McDonald's take-out window and I gave
the clerk a $5 bill. Our total was $4.25, so I also handed
her a quarter. She said, 'you gave me too much money.' I said, 'Yes I
know, but this way you can just give me a dollar bill back.' She sighed
and went to get the manager who asked me to repeat my request. I did so,
and he handed me back the quarter, and said
'We're sorry but they could not do that kind of thing.' The clerk
then proceeded to give me back $1 and 75 cents in change.
Do not confuse the clerks at McD's.
I live in a semi rural area. We recently had a new neighbor call the
local township administrative office to request the removal of the
DEER CROSSING sign on our road. The reason: 'Too many deer
are being hit by cars out here! I don't think this is a good place for
them to be crossing anymore.'
From Kingman, KS
IDIOT SIGHTING IN FOOD SERVICE:
My daughter went to a local Taco Bell and ordered a taco. She asked the
person behind the counter for 'minimal lettuce.' He said he was sorry,
but they only had iceburg lettuce.
From Kansas City
I was at the airport, checking in at the gate when an airport employee
asked, 'Has anyone put anything in your baggage without your knowledge?'
To which I replied, 'If it was without my knowledge, how would I know?'
He smiled knowingly and nodded,
'That's why we ask.'
Happened in Birmingham, Ala.
The stoplight on the corner buzzes when it's safe to cross the
street. I was crossing with an intellectually challenged coworker of
mine. She asked if I knew what the buzzer was for. I explained that
it signals blind people when the light is red. Appalled, she
responded, 'What on earth are blind people doing driving?!'
She was a probation officer in Wichita, KS
At a good-bye luncheon for an old and dear coworker. She was leaving the
company due to 'downsizing.' Our manager commented cheerfully, 'This is
fun. We should do this more often' Not another word was spoken. We all
just looked at each other with that deer-in-the-headlights stare.
This was a lunch at Texas Instruments.
I work with an individual who plugged her power strip back into
itself and for the sake of her life, couldn't understand why her
system would not turn on.
A deputy with the Dallas County Sheriffs office, no less.
When my husband and I arrived at an automobile dealership to pick up our
car, we were told the keys had been locked in it. We went to the service
department and found a mechanic working feverishly to unlock the drivers
side door. As I watched from the passenger side, I instinctively tried
the door handle and discovered that it was unlocked. 'Hey,' I announced
to the technician, 'its open!' His reply, 'I know. I already got that
This was at the Ford dealership in Canton, Mississippi
They walk among us... and the scary part is
that they VOTE and they REPRODUCE!