1. Men are NOT mind readers.
1. Learn to work the toilet seat.
You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down.
We need it up, you need it down.
You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it
1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon
or the changing of the tides. Let it be.
1. Shopping is NOT a sport.
And no, we are never going to think of it that way.
1. Crying is blackmail.
1. Ask for what you want.
Let us be clear on this one:
Subtle hints do not work!
Strong hints do not work!
Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!
1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable
answers to almost every question.
1. Come to us with a problem
if you want help solving it. That's what we do.
Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is
See a doctor.
1. Anything we said 6 months ago is
inadmissible in an argument.
In fact, all comments become null and void after 7
1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls,
Expect us to act like soap opera guys.
1. If you think you're fat, you probably
Don't ask us.
1. If something we said can be interpreted
and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant
1. You can either ask us to do something
Or tell us how you want it done.
If you already know best how to do it, just do it
1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever
you have to say during commercials.
1. Christopher Columbus did
need directions and neither do we.
1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like
Windows default settings.
Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A
color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have
idea what mauve is.
1. If it itches, it
We do that.
1. If we ask what is wrong and you say
"nothing," We will act like nothing's wrong. We know
you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.
1. If you ask a question you don't want an
answer to, Expect an answer you don't want to hear.
1. When we have to go somewhere,
absolutely anything you wear is fine
1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about
unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as
baseball, the shotgun formation, or golf.
1. You have enough clothes.
1. You have too many shoes.
1. I am in shape. Round
IS a shape!
Thank you for reading this.
Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight.
But did you know men really don't mind that?
It's like camping.
Pass this to as many men as you can
- to give them a
Pass this to as many women as you can
- to give them a bigger