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SentFrom.Us/DraftUS
Drafting Guys over 60
New Direction for the war on terrorists.
"Send Prior Service Vets over 60 "
I am over 60 and the Armed Forces thinks I'm too old to track down
terrorists.
(You can't be older than 42 to join the military.)
They've got the whole thing backwards. Instead of sending 18-year-olds
off to fight, they ought to take us old guys. You shouldn't be able to
join a military unit until you're at least 35.
For starters:
Researchers say 18-year-olds think about sex every 10 seconds. Old guys
only think about sex a couple of times a day, leaving us more than
28,000 additional seconds per day to concentrate on the enemy.
Young guys haven't lived long enough to be cranky, and a cranky soldier
is a dangerous soldier. "My back hurts! I can't sleep, I'm tired and
hungry!"
We are impatient and maybe letting us kill some asshole that desperately
deserves it will make us feel better and shut us up for a while.
An 18-year-old doesn't even like to get up before 10 a.m. Old guys
always get up early to pee so what the hell. Besides, like I said, "I'm
tired and can't sleep and since I'm already up, I may as well be up
killing some son-of-a-bitch.
If captured we couldn't spill the beans because we'd forget where we put
them. In fact, name, rank, and serial number would be a real
brainteaser.
Boot camp would be easier for old guys. We're used to getting screamed
and yelled at and we like soft food. We've also developed an
appreciation for guns. We've been using them for years as an excuse to
get out of the house, away from the screaming and yelling.
They could lighten up on the obstacle course however. I've been in
combat and didn't see a single 20-foot wall with rope hanging over the
side, nor did I ever do any pushups after completing basic training. I
can hear the Drill Sgt. now, "Get down and give me ... er .. one."
Actually, the running part is kind of a waste of energy, too. I've never
seen anyone outrun a bullet.
An 18-year-old has the whole world ahead of him. He's still learning to
shave, to start up a conversation with a pretty girl. He still hasn't
figured out that a baseball cap has a brim to shade his eyes, not the
back of his head.
These are all great reasons to keep our kids at home to learn a little
more about life before sending them off into harm's way.
Let us old guys go after the enemy. The last thing an enemy would want
to see right now is a couple of million pissed off old farts with
attitudes and automatic weapons who know that their best years are
already behind them.
If nothing else, put us on the border and we will have it secured the
first night.
Share this with your senior friends.
It's purposely in big type so you can
read it.
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