This is an actual
letter sent to a man named Ryan DeVries by the
Pennsylvania Department of Environmental Quality, State of Pennsylvania.
This guy's response is hilarious, but read the State's letter before you
get to the response letter.
SUBJECT: DEQ File No.97-59-0023; T11N; R10W, Sec. 20; Lycoming County
Dear Mr. DeVries:
It has come to the attention of the Department of Environmental Quality
that there has been recent unauthorized activity on the above referenced
parcel of property. You have been certified as the legal landowner and/or
contractor who did the following unauthorized activity:
1. Construction and maintenance of two wood debris dams across the outlet
stream of Spring Pond. A permit must be issued prior to the start of this
type of activity. A review of the Department's files shows that no permits
have been issued. Therefore, the Department has determined that this
activity is in violation of Part 301, Inland Lakes and Streams, of the
Natural Resource and Environmental Protection Act, Act 451 of the Public
Acts of 1994, being sections 324.30101 to 324.30113 of the Pennsylvania
Compiled Laws, annotated.
The Department has been informed that one or both of the dams partially
failed during a recent rain event, causing debris and flooding at
downstream locations. We find that dams of this nature are inherently
hazardous and cannot be permitted. The Department therefore orders you to
cease and desist all activities at this location, and to restore the
stream to a free-flow condition by removing all wood and brush forming the
dams from the
All restoration work shall be completed no later than January 31, 2006.
Please notify this office when the restoration has been completed so that
follow-up site inspection may be scheduled by our staff. Failure to comply
with this request or any further unauthorized activity on the site may
result in this case being referred for elevated enforcement action. We
anticipate and would appreciate your full cooperation in this matter.
Please feel free to contact me at this office if you have any questions.
David L. Price
District Representative and Water Management Division
Here is the actual
response sent back by Mr. DeVries:
Re: DEQ File
No. 97-59-0023; T11N; R10W, Sec. 20; Lycoming County
Dear Mr. Price,
Your certified letter dated 12/17/05 has been handed to me to respond to.
am the legal landowner but not the Contractor at 2088 Dagget Lane, Trout
Run, Pennsylvania. A couple of beavers are in the (State unauthorized)
process of constructing and maintaining two wood "debris" dams across the
outlet stream of my Spring Pond. While I did not pay for, authorize, nor
supervise their dam project, I think they would be highly offended that
you call their skillful use of natures building materials "debris." I
like to challenge your department to attempt to emulate their dam project
any time and/or any place you choose. I believe I can safely state there
no way you could ever match their dam skills, their dam resourcefulness,
their dam ingenuity, their dam persistence, their dam determination and/or
their dam work ethic.
As to your request, I do not think the beavers are aware that they must
first fill out a dam permit prior to the start of this type of dam
activity. My first dam question to you is:
(1) Are you trying to discriminate against my Spring Pond Beavers, or
(2) Do you require all beavers throughout this State to conform to said
If you are not discriminating against these particular beavers, through
Freedom of Information Act, I request completed copies of all those other
applicable beaver dam permits that have been issued. Perhaps we will see
if there really is a dam violation of Part 301, Inland Lakes and Streams,
of the Natural Resource and Environmental Protection Act, Act 451 of the
Public Acts of 1994, being sections 324.30101 to 324.30113 of the
Pennsylvania Compiled Laws, annotated.
I have several concerns. My first concern is; aren't the beavers entitled
to legal representation? The Spring Pond Beavers are financially destitute
and are unable to pay for said representation -- so the State will have to
provide them with a dam lawyer. The Department's dam concern that either
one or both of the dams failed during a recent rain event, causing
flooding, is proof that this is a natural occurrence, which the Department
is required to protect. In other words, we should leave the Spring Pond
Beavers alone rather than harassing them and calling their dam names. If
you want the stream "restored" to a dam free-flow condition please contact
the beavers -- but if you are going to arrest them, they obviously did not
any attention to your dam letter, they being unable to read English. In my
humble opinion, the Spring Pond Beavers have a right to build their
unauthorized dams as long as the sky is blue, the grass is green and water
flows downstream. They have more dam rights than I do to live and enjoy
Spring Pond. If the Department of Natural Resources and Environmental
Protection lives up to its name, it should protect the natural resources
(Beavers) and the environment (Beavers' Dams). So, as far as the beavers
and I are concerned, this dam case can be referred for more elevated
enforcement action right now. Why wait until 1/31/2006? The Spring Pond
Beavers may be under the dam ice then and there will be no way for you or
your dam staff to contact/harass them then.
In conclusion, I would like to bring to your attention to a real
quality (health) problem in the area. It is the bears! Bears are actually
defecating in our woods. I definitely believe you should be persecuting
defecating bears and leave the beavers alone. If you are going to
the beaver dam, watch your step! (The bears are not careful where they
dump!) Being unable to comply with your dam request, and being unable to
contact you on your dam answering machine, I am sending this response to
your dam office.
RYAN DEVRIES & THE DAM BEAVERS
Won't You Share These Dam Letters to your Friends & Family
They might need a Dam Break in their daily routine.
We Support the Beaver Dams and the Dam Beavers!