The other day a young person asked me how I felt
about being old.
I was taken aback, for I do not think of myself as old.
Upon seeing my reaction, she was immediately
embarrassed, but I explained that it was an interesting question, and I
would ponder it and let her know.
Old Age, I decided, is a gift.
I am now, probably for the first time in my life, the person I have
always wanted to be.
Oh, not my body! I sometime despair over my body, the wrinkles, the baggy
eyes, and the sagging butt. And often I am taken aback by that old
person that lives in my mirror (who looks like my mother!), but I don't
agonize over those things for long.
I would never trade my amazing friends, my wonderful life, my loving
family for less gray hair or a flatter belly. As I've aged, I've become
more kind to myself, and less critical of myself. I've become my own
friend. I don't chide myself for eating that extra cookie, or for not
making my bed, or for buying that silly cement gecko that I didn't need,
but looks so avante garde on my patio. I am entitled to a treat, to be
messy, to be extravagant.
I have seen too many dear friends leave this world too soon; before they
understood the great freedom that comes with aging.
Whose business is it if I choose to read or play on the computer until 4
am and sleep until noon?
I will dance with myself to those wonderful tunes of the 50's & 60's,
and if I, at the same time, wish to weep over a lost love ... I will.
I will walk the beach in a swim suit that is stretched over a bulging
body, and will dive into the waves with abandon if I choose to, despite
the pitying glances from the jet set.
They, too, will get old.
I know I am sometimes forgetful. But there again, some of life is just as
well forgotten. And I eventually remember the important things.
Sure, over the years my heart has been broken. How can your heart not
break when you lose a loved one, or when a child suffers, or even when a
beloved pet gets hit by a car?
But broken hearts are what give us strength and understanding and
compassion. A heart never broken is pristine and sterile and will never
know the joy of being imperfect.
I am so blessed to have lived long enough to have my hair turn gray, and
to have my youthful laughs be forever etched into deep grooves on my
face. So many have never laughed, and so many have died before their
hair could turn silver.
As you get older, it is easier to be positive. You care less about what
other people think. I don't question myself anymore. I've even earned
the right to be wrong.
So, to answer your question,
I like being old.
It has set me free.
I like the person I have become.
I am not going to live forever, but while I am still here, I will not
waste time lamenting what could have been, or worrying about what will
And I shall eat dessert every single day.