Fathers then & now
1900 vs 2000
Today is one of the first Father's Days of
our new millennium.
Fathers of 1900 didn't have it nearly as good as fathers of today; but
they did have a few advantages:
In 1900, fathers prayed their children would learn English.
Today, fathers pray their children will speak English.
In 1900, a father's horsepower meant his horses.
Today, it's the size of his minivan.
In 1900, if a father put a roof over his family's head, he was a success.
Today, it takes a roof, deck, pool, and 4-car garage.
And that's just the vacation home.
In 1900, a father waited for the doctor to tell him when the baby arrived.
Today, a father must wear a smock, know how to breathe, and make sure
film is in the video camera.
In 1900, fathers passed on clothing to their sons.
Today, kids wouldn't touch Dad's clothes if they were sliding naked
down an icicle.
In 1900, fathers could count on children to join the family business.
Today, fathers pray their kids will soon come home from college long
enough to teach them how to work the computer and set the VCR.
In 1900, fathers pined for old country Romania, Italy, or Russia.
Today, fathers pine for old country Hank Williams.
In 1900, a father smoked a pipe.
If he tries that today, he gets sent outside after a lecture on lip
In 1900, fathers shook their children gently and whispered, "Wake up,
it's time for school."
Today, kids shake their fathers violently at 4 a.m., shouting: "Wake up,
it's time for hockey practice."
In 1900, a father came home from work to find his wife and children at
the supper table.
Today, a father comes home to a note: "Jimmy's at baseball, Cindy's at
gymnastics, I'm at adult-Ed, Pizza in fridge."
In 1900, fathers and sons would have heart-to-heart conversations
while fishing in a stream.
Today, fathers pluck the headphones off their sons'
ears and shout, "WHEN YOU HAVE A MINUTE.."
In 1900, a father gave a pencil box for Christmas, and the kid was all
Today, a father spends $800 at Toys 'R' Us, and the kid screams: "I
In 1900, if a father had breakfast in bed, it was eggs and bacon and
ham and potatoes.
Today, it's Special K, soy milk, dry toast and a lecture on
In 1900, a Father's Day gift would be a hand tool.
Today, he'll get a digital organizer.
In 1900, fathers said, "A man's home is his castle."
Today, they say, "Welcome to the money pit."
In 1900, "a good day at the market" meant Father brought home feed for
Today, "a good day at the market" means Dad got in early on an IPO.
In 1900, a happy meal was when Father shared funny stories around the
Today, a happy meal is what Dad buys at McDonald's.
In 1900, a father was involved if he spanked the kid now and then.
Today, a father's involved only if he coaches Little League and
organizes Boy Scouts and car pools.
In 1900, when fathers entered the room, children often rose to attention.
Today, kids glance up and grunt, "Dad, you're invading my space."
In 1900, fathers threatened their daughters suitors with shotguns if
the girl came home late.
Today, fathers break the ice by saying, "So...how long have you had
In 1900, fathers pined for the old school, which meant a one-room,
Today, fathers pine for the old school, which means Dr J and Mickey
In 1900, fathers were never truly appreciated.
In 2000, fathers are never truly appreciated.
“For the parents of a Little Leaguer, a baseball game is
simply a nervous breakdown in innings.” -Earl Wilson