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 Not tonight !


One evening last week, my wife and I were getting into bed. Well, the passion starts to heat up, but she eventually says,

"I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me."

I said, "WHAT????!!! What was that?!"

So she says the words that every husband on the planet dreads to hear: "You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman, enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man."

She responded to my puzzled look by saying, "Can't you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?"

Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night I went to sleep.


The very next day I took the day off of work to spend time with her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big department store.

I walked around with her while she tried on several different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one to take so I told her we'd just buy them all.

She wanted new shoes to complement her new clothes, so I said let's get a pair for each outfit. We then went on to the jewelry department where she picked out a pair of diamond earrings.

Let me tell you---she was so excited!!

She must have thought that my elevator was no longer stopping on all the floors. I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play tennis.

I think I really threw her for a loop when I said,

"That's fine, honey."


She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement.

Smiling with excited anticipation she finally said, "I think this is all dear, let's go to the cashier".

I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out,

"No honey, I just don't feel like it."


Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled, "WHAT???!!!"

I then said, "Really honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while.

You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man, enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman."

And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I added, "Why can't you just love me for who I am, and not for the things I buy you?"



Apparently I'm not having sex
tonight either.

 

 

 

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